


Your Past Doesn't Define Your Present

by CattyRoggers19



Series: Janto One-shots [17]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: First Time, Fluff, M/M, Rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:48:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25170394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CattyRoggers19/pseuds/CattyRoggers19
Summary: Ianto doesn't think he is worthy of love and commitment Jack has a very unique way to show him otherwise.
Relationships: Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones
Series: Janto One-shots [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1792978
Kudos: 9





	Your Past Doesn't Define Your Present

Ianto pulls away from Jack as he gets up off the bed and walks to the other side of the room. ‘I have to tell you something because... I don’t know... if I... I can do this.’  
‘Ianto.’ Jack walks over to Ianto and calmly grabs his face, which reassures Ianto somewhat. ‘If you aren't ready it’s okay I’m not going to push you. This is a big step. I want this to be right for you. Whatever it is you can tell me.’  
Ianto was staring deep into Jack’s eyes now realising that he only saw acceptance in them and that he could tell Jack and it would all be okay and that Jack would help him heal and make him better again. ‘Well... I.... What happened was... It... He...’  
Jack just stares right back into Ianto’s eyes. He suspects what Ianto is going to tell him but knows that Ianto needs to tell him to be able to accept it. ‘Take your time. It’s okay. You trust me don’t you?’ Ianto nods his head. ‘If you trust me then you can tell me. I promise it won’t change how I think of you.’  
Ianto takes a deep breath and continues. He knows he needs to speak now or he never will. ‘When I told you I was the first man I had ever been with it wasn’t quite true.’ Jack nods his head to show he is listening but knows that there must be more to this story or Ianto wouldn’t be so nervous. ‘When I was eighteen... Some friends of mine convinced me to go to a local club with them. But.. Then it happened... He happened... He hurt me... He touched me... in ways that nobody else had. Physically I was healed in a few weeks but they were the longest in my life. I just could tell anybody what was wrong with me and it was killing me. Mentally, I don’t think I will ever heal. ’ Ianto begins to sob. So Jack just holds him and whispers words of encouragement in his ear, as he steers them towards the bed when he feels Ianto’s legs begin to give way. ‘I was weak and stupid that’s why he did it.’ Ianto says in between sobs.  
Jack took Ianto firmly by the shoulders and held him at arm's length. ‘You listen to me and you listen good. You are not stupid and you are centainly not weak. You are one of the strongest bravest people I know. You are the glue. You hold everybody together. You hold the team together and more importantly you hold me together. Do you understand?’ Jack says in an assertive but not abrasive tone.  
‘Yes. I’m sorry it’s just that I've never told anybody before.’ Ianto says before he really thinks about it.  
‘Nobody at all?’ Jack says. Although now he thinks about it it isn’t that much of a surprise; Ianto is a very private person.  
‘I didn’t want people to think I was weak so I just hid it from everybody. I never told anybody because I didn’t know what people would think. I made sure that I never got this far with anybody so I didn’t have to tell them because I didn’t think they would understand and I didn’t want to tell anybody. But In wanted to tell you. I've wanted to tell you for months..’  
‘You mean you haven’t since...’ Jack stops as he realises just how insensitive he has been. ‘I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry.’  
‘No, it’s fine I thought you would ask and to answer you question no I haven’t because I have never trusted anybody. Everytime I would get near somebody I just had a panic attack and told them it was about something else. So I just forced the memories back down. I just assumed that I was so weak that then everybody would hurt me if I let them... If we... But... you are different. It’s strange but when I’m with you.... I can. I haven’t had a panic attack since we started... what we started. That's the longest I’ve gone my whole life. You make it go away. You make me feel safe again. I’ve never felt safe in anybody's arms. And that’s the reason I love you.’ Ianto hadn’t even realised what he had said until he had said it. ‘I am sorry. Please don’t feel the need to say it back.’  
‘And I love you too. Nothing you could tell me is ever going to change that. I could think of a million reasons why you are beautiful and fabulous.’  
I’m not beautiful. And I’m certainly not fabulous’  
‘Yes you are. I’m going to give you twenty six things that I love about you. Each one will start with a different letter of the alphabet.’  
‘Every letter? I can’t think of one reason why you would love me let alone twenty six.’ Ianto says with pure shock written all over his face.  
‘Yep let's start with A for amazing because everyday I find out something new about you that just amazes me. B for beautiful because of the way you smile with your eyes when you are really happy or excited. C for caring because you care about everybody else first and you never think about yourself. D for determined. With everything life has thrown at you, you could have easily given up but you haven't. E for empathetic. You have an ability to understand what everyone needs before they need it. F for family. I know you don’t always talk about them but you spend everyday trying to keep them safe. Even if you don’t always see eye to eye with them at all times and even if they don’t know it you are still here fighting to make their world a better place. G for generous. You try to please everybody and cater for what everybody needs no matter how much it may inconvenience you. H for honest. You have always been honest about everything. Or you try to be and the only time you aren’t is when you think that telling people would hurt them more. But still no more secrets yes?’ Ianto nods his head. ‘I for inspirational. You mean so much to me and to so many people even more people if people knew about us then I know that they would agree. J for joyful. You bring joy to everybody whether it be an alien, a human or some random guy for the 51st century. K for kind. Above everything else you are kind to everyone and everything. L for loyal. No matter what happens I know... We all know that you will forever be loyal to everyone who you love. M for modest because you don’t see how brilliant you are. You don’t see how much everybody needs you. You don’t realise that if you wanted you could rule the world. If not the universe. N for nervous but in a good way you want to do stuff right because you put everybody before yourself. O for optimistic because you always assume the best in people. You always see the good you never see the bad. P for polite. Your manners have always been impeccable. Q for quiet. You take everything in before jumping to conclusions. You make everyone else rationalise things because you have listened to everything first. R for respectful. It doesn’t matter who we come across you always treat them with respect even when you probably shouldn’t. S for strong. You stand up for everybody that you love and you make sure that they know just how much they mean to you. T for Trustworthy because I would trust you with anything. My life included. U for unpredictable because-’ Jack never got to finish his list because with that Ianto launched himself on top of Jack. But then Jack broke the kiss and held Ianto by the shoulders at arms length. ‘We don’t need to do this. It’s fine. I’m not going to leave you. I’m not going anywhere that isn’t with you because I need you too much.’  
‘I’m ready. It’s fine.’ Ianto says smiling.  
‘There’s no pressure if you aren’t ready. Really Ianto it’s fine. Please.’  
‘I’m ready because with you by my side the impossible is possible.’


End file.
